The Gift of Found Family


Spirit is so generous. The day after the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death I ran into one of my community papas at a restaurant where I was to meet a coaching client. This man is in his 90’s and has lived a full life. He sits down in the booth with me and shares that he was contacted recently by a son he didn’t know he had, a son that is now in his 50’s who researched his birth family and sent out a letter with no demands just to connect even if for a brief moment. Since that letter they have met face to face and my friend will soon meet his daughter-in-law and one of his two granddaughters.


Sitting across from him as he explained to me this new relationship with his son, how his son’s birth mother (now deceased) was what we would now call friends with benefits, and how his son’s work is in alignment with the work that he did for years I am reminded how strong family ties are. I am reminded of connection to family chosen and otherwise. I feel his joy and excitement. I feel my own wonder. I feel my mother’s presence in this space.


Yesterday a part of my grief was that when my mother died she was still married to my perpetrator so I never got to go thru her things. I have very few things that belonged to her. Today I decided to buy a set of bowls that I will call my mother’s bowls. I will continue to find and build history with her.

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© 2019 by Quanita Roberson.