I’m a Warrior and I am the promise of forgiveness and reconciliation in the world. These may seem like to opposite energies but I’m learning more everyday of how to hold the both/and of these two things.
I’m a warrior and I love the sharpening of the saw that it provides when you are with an equal opponent. I love the opportunity to stretch and grow. Mind, body, and spirit. Being a warrior is different than being a soldier. Soldiers fight for whoever is paying them but warriors fight for a cause. Warriors have a sense of honor. Warriors have a deep respect for the person on the other side because they understand that that person loves and cares about their cause just as much as they do. Warriors know that there is a cost in the battle. Because of this warriors go into battle mournfully. Warriors are also willing to go into the mud and dirt, they are willing to be in the mess of things.
One of the hardest parts of being a warrior for me is knowing when not to fight. One of my teachers have said to me, “When giants pick on little people they are just bullies.” Knowing when you aren’t with a equal opponent is everything. Warriors aren’t bullies that have honor and integrity.
Sometimes it is necessary to go into battle to keep the peace. Sometimes forgiveness and reconciliation require you to be willing to go into the mud and the dirt, to go into the mess. But this is always a last resort.
These days we often go into war because we think we have a just cause but what I often see is we go into war because our trauma is lying to us. We go into war because we have handed over our power to another without even knowing it. We call it righteous anger and often it hides the fact that everything we are in is always between us and the divine and doesn’t have anything to do with anybody else.
When I feel this pull in me, this pull to fight, just for the fight because I am in pain. The one question that always brings me back to myself, the one question that reminds me of the truth of who I am is, “What if I really did believe that everything is in divine order?”. This question reminds me that we are indeed spiritual being having a human experience and not the other way around. It reminds me that the world is out to gift me and not to get me. It reminds me that I am co-creator with the divine for everything that shows up in my life.