Into the woods I go to lose my mind and find my soul.
It’s been a while since I last posted a blog. I have been thinking about it a lot I have been so full with living that I haven’t felt the spaciousness that I require for writing.
Over the past two and a half weeks I have been mostly traveling. I’ve been in Kansas City (MO), Peebles (OH), Seattle (WA), and now Whidbey Island (WA). After holding space for three groups and getting a little rest myself I head home tomorrow.
During this time I have learned a lot of things:
I have been learning about worthiness and what is required to do what I have committed to do this lifetime
I am learning that I have to have stronger boundaries around my time as I meet more and more people in the world
I am learning how important rest and play are
I am grieving the loss of who I used to be, the loss of who I thought I would be, and the loss of relationships
I’m grieving how trauma lives in others and in myself
I am celebrating who I am and who I am becoming.
I'm celebrating lots of people that I love, good work and my ability to feel how to hold it and sense what is coming next
I am celebrating really old trees, the ocean, whales, driftwood, stones, and shells
I am celebrating my elders, I have had the opportunity to visit with two of them this trip
I am celebrating Amy and watching her step more into what work is hers in the world.
I am learning how to not be partnered and not be alone
I am learning joy as well as I know grief
I am celebrating the Fire & Water community that I have been responsible for for the past four years.
I am overwhelmed in moments as I witness the growth of the Fire & Water alum
I’m celebrating good food and my willingness to try things like squid ink linguine
I’m celebrating how good simple snacks are, smoked salmon, mango, cheese, blueberries, melon, and crackers
There is lots more but I think what I want to share here is that life is full and good things are happening. I have more travel coming up soon but first I head home. There life will be full in different ways. I’ll drive my daughter to work, move my son home from his junior year at Earlham College, and celebrate my 52nd birthday. And then I head to Austin (TX).
Quanita
Quanita, this is a beautiful piece; it speaks to me and will speak to most who read it. Thanks for giving voice to my own unexpressed concern about how much down or rejuvenating time I need to myself to be able to go forth with my writing and other projects dear to me. I'm generally not weighed down by guilt, but something like it creeps in when I realize I actually got some personally rewarding things done and only a little of my obligations done. It's a different proportion than the one that lives in my head from early learnings about what is expected of a woman. I'm going to start embracing my new proportion instead of feeling like it's…