Let me first start with letting you know that I am still processing this…
In the past month I have had three experiences that each carry this lesson around the deeper the wound the bigger the gift. The first experience was with my partner Tenneson, October was a hard month. We were in big conflict, I would say the biggest yet. We both wanted different things and couldn’t find middle ground we struggled with the line between us each holding our own boundaries and what does going it together ask and/or require of each of us. We both carry deep wounds and great gifts and navigating this territory can be and is tricky.
The next trip was in North Carolina. I was with a friend, another person that I consider a giant and she was struggling to find her next steps. Again, I could see how her wounds that gave birth to her brilliance on the planet also keeps her stuck in ways.
And third, I was in New Orleans. This place, these people that I felt such a sense and understanding of community I also felt such deep grief and pain. Here is the deep south where slavery at its most brutal, here where community members are still standing after Katrina, here with all the history of jazz and art and spirit I felt my most conflicted.
I think I have this story in me that if we just knew how to be in community, if we just knew deep belonging everything would be good. But here, I felt maybe community and belonging are good except when its not. Maybe community and belonging is good when its healthy but it turns into something else when it’s not? I don’t know I’m sure it will continue to work me.
The one thing I do know is that its trying to teach me something about my own deep wounding and my own personal brilliance and maybe even how I live with both of those and with others in healthy community.
Quanita
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