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Day 62 - A Journey to Self

I wrote the poem below when I was going through my divorce about seven years ago. I have learned a lot since then but the greatest gift has been that this journey is centered around love. Love is what sends you on a journey like this, it keeps you on the journey, and it is what the journey gives you in return. Enjoy.

A friend said to me, “You are on a great journey for yourself. The greatest journey of all. Be strong, you know you can.”

What he didn’t tell me was that this journey was filled with landmines. Landmines of core wounds still left to be healed. Some that have been lying dormant for years.

Landmines that would seemingly come out of nowhere and explode right before my very eyes. What he didn’t tell me was that the only way that I can make it to myself is to find all of the landmines and discover what healing needs to happen, what beliefs need to be changed, to clean up this mess of a minefield once and for all.

What he didn’t tell me was that I can’t walk this minefield alone and that I don’t have to, that everything I need is already with me right here, right now. All I have to do is open to receive it. The ancestors are standing by cheering me on, and watching guard.

What he didn’t tell me was that this journey would require me to stand in my truth and honor myself in a way I have never done before. This journey would invite me into my vulnerability and ask that I surrender all knowing to spirit.

What he didn’t tell me was that the landmines are filled with all the emotions of the past that I didn’t allow myself to feel for fear of further pain. Now as each one is detonated I have to feel what needs to be felt and let it flow through me, allow myself to be witnessed so that I finally have access to the gifts hiding beneath the surface.

To be fair he did also tell me that this journey that I am embarking on is a long and sad one, with its own pains and losses and that it is filled with amazing insights, beauty and even joy and he was right. I am on the greatest journey of all, I am strong, and I can make it to myself.

-Quanita Roberson

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