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Writer's pictureQuanita

Day 7: How to Develop the Confidence to Say No and the Wisdom to Say Yes: Navigating Adulthood




Growing up means knowing how to say no and when to say yes.


I have been learning lots of lessons about how to say no and when to say yes.


Lately the lesson around how to say no has been mostly centered on place, people, and things that I have grown out of, Things that no longer serve me. Some people may think that it is arrogant of me to claim growth past anyone, I think I used to feel this way. But what I am learning is that it’s actually unkind not to acknowledge the places where I have grown. It is unkind to not acknowledge the ways that I can see things that others can’t and/or how others have grown in ways that they can see things that I can’t.


Its unkind because when we aren’t really seeing each other we often have unrealistic expectations. These expectations can lead to judgements that are unkind. Judgements that make others or ourselves feel less than.


I remember after my divorce, my was-band was suing me. I had just come back from a trip out west where spirit was so present that there wasn’t any denying it. There was double rainbows, an owl on a building in the middle of the day, whales, walks by the ocean daily, quiet writing time, and even the two people collecting payments at one of my events were named Jacob & Makayla (my children’s names).


I came home and was planning to be in court that Friday and spirit said to me, “You need to let him off the hook.”,my reply was “What do you mean let him off the hook? He is the one suing me”. I was then told that we had always been in two different marriages, he was in a marriage of contract and I was in a marriage of covenant. Because of this the only thing that he could feel in my presence was not enough. Spirit said again, ‘You need to let him off the hook.” I chose to no longer hold him responsible for something that he didn’t have the capacity to do. This was kind to both of us.



Quanita


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This is beautiful.❤️

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