I have been thinking a lot about secrets today. As an incest survivor I have a complicated relationship with secrets, maybe we all do.
As a child secrets kept me trapped in shame. I couldn’t trust the adults in my house to keep me safe and I thought it was my job to keep them protected until it became clear that it wasn’t. When it was clear that I needed to share my secrets I did.
There are all kinds of secrets. There are secrets that hurt, secrets that bring surprise, and secrets that heal. I often say that our wounds come with gifts but I hadn’t until today thought of my ability to keep secrets as a gift of my wound.
I told someone today that I keep secrets for a living. This realization brought me to tears. It is bittersweet to me. As a coach I bear witness to and keep lots of peoples secrets. In the past 20 years I have coached thousands. I’ve coached teachers, clergy, therapist, housewives, politicians, doctors, lawyers, activist, engineers, managers, bankers, authors, and the list goes on…
I hold their secrets in safe keeping, some horrible things, some deeply soulful things, but all secrets nonetheless.
Maybe the most complex secrets are the ones we keep from ourselves.
Quanita
Protecting what needs to be protected ...