Day 96 - Quanita in Wonderland


Alice In Wonderland

Absolem: "The question is Who are you?"

Alice: "Alice"

Absolem: "We shall see."

Alice: "What do you mean by that I ought to know who I am."

Absolem: "Yes you ought stupid girl"


The rabbit has always been one of my totem animals, I even had rabbits as pets several times in my life. Some of the medicine that they bring to me is the ability to do great leaps forward and to pivot in an instead toward a more advantageous direction. Throughout my life I have experienced my growth in this way. So it's not surprising that on the day that I received the printed copies of my book, I would feel in mid leap.


White Rabbit : Is she the real Alice?

Abolem: Not hardly


People keep asking me how I feel. Well, after 15 years of being in relationship with this book I feel relief, excitement, grief, proud, done, and disconnected to it. I feel like this book holds my past, not my present, or my future. You see I never wanted to write this book. And, I have felt for a long time that I was the only one who could. I have felt that it is something that I promised to do this lifetime. I have kept my promise to the divine.


Alice: "Absolem?"

Absolem: "Who are you?"

Alice: "I thought we’d settled this. I’m Alice, but not that one."

Absolem: "How do you know?"

Alice: "You said so yourself."

Absolem: "I said you were not hardy Alice. But you’re much more her now. In fact, you are almost Alice."

Alice: "Even so I couldn’t slay the jabberwocky if my life depended on it."

Absolem: "It will."


I feel like today is not only the birth of this book but also the birth of me in a strange kind of way. Finishing this book brings a kind of freedom for me. I find myself tearing up just thinking of it. I think this book is a part of why I had to come back to Cincinnati (I used to live in Colorado Springs). I think this book wanted to be written here. This place, Cincinnati, that held the promise of freedom. This book has already brought some of that freedom to me. The rest is none of my business.

Quanita


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