Becoming

On Monday I got back home from the last of three Fire & Water retreats with our 2nd cohort. This was the end of this phase of our journey together, 16 months. I'm just emerging from my rest time after holding this wonderful people.

This is the time where we share our Presentations of Learning with each other and celebrate our completion of this part of our life’s journey. I often refer to this time as Christmas. It’s where we get to see not only what has happened but what we each have learned. I have shown up for each of these people in various ways throughout the 16 months because it’s how I show up for spirit. These P.O.L.’s are how spirit shows up for me. This is where I get to see that my work isn’t in vain.

People often ask me what Fire & Water is and I often find myself at a loss for words because it is a deeply experiential, internal process. Today my answer to the question of “What is Fire and Water?” is best summed up in these two poems by Saoirse.

In my last blog post titled Initiation I shared a poem written by Saoirse Charis-Graves. She wrote this during her discernment process around entering Fire & Water. The poem below was written as part of a presentation of learning for her at the end of her 16 month journey. Enjoy!

Becoming by Saoirse Charis-Graves

i have been a long time

becoming what i am meant to be

a long time

coming into myself

surrendering all

letting go of

pseudo safety

pseudo security

pseudo affection

trusting

a difficult journey at any age

after a long life of “trying”

the danger is in

settling for “enough” —

stopping short

of saoirse-becoming

complete

whole

as i am

in this time

there was no stopping

no quit

no more trying

only staying

breathing

feeling

staying with the discomfort of

fear

guilt

loneliness

trusting

i am safe

i am loved

i am beloved

i am whole

i am now

have always been

will always be

saoirse-becoming

We so often can only look at the world through caterpillar eyes when we so want to be a butterfly. We have the desire to fly but we can't even image how we get from here to there, that's why we need elders who can hold us with butterfly eyes. Never doubting the truth of who we are, who we have always been, and who we are to become.

Quanita