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Writer's pictureQuanita

Day 21: Grief in the House



In our house this past month there has been lots of grief. For those of you who know me you know that this isn’t a bad thing, even if its a hard thing.


This month my children’s paternal grandfather transitioned to the land of the ancestors, at the same time their dad is moving to Colorado, and  to add to things they had to find a new home for their dog. Lots of grief and letting go.


There are also new beginnings, both of my adult children will be living with me. Makayla started working at a new restaurant recently. Jacob has started working in the theater doing spot lighting. He had his 1st professional job at the Playhouse in the Park here in Cincinnati for the primer of Rutka. Lots of good stuff. These days when people ask me how I am doing I find myself saying, full and good.


As a mother it is hard for me to witness my children in grief, both the ways that they avoid it and the ways that they lean into it. For me it took one of my elders to remind me that I am a water person and I need to tend to my own grief and not get lost in theirs. I carry my own grief stories with these shifts. And, at the same time there are shifts in my work, including who I am working with and where I am willing to work.


There is a life cycle closing in me as Steve (my ex-husband) moves to Colorado and as his second parent dies. There is a shift as I step into being the only parent in the city where my adult children live. There is a shift as I am feeling more called out into the world with my work. And there is a shift as I lean into more abundance and ease. In these shifts there are lots of things to release and grieve.


I have found myself with this need to go through everything in my house and to lay my hands on each item, and  decided to keep or to let go. I have also been called to enter into a Give Away Ritual. This requires deep listening for what wants to go and to who. In this ritual you can’t just give away things that you don’t want, you give away things that have deep meaning for you. This ritual is a sacred offering.


I am so glad that I know that grief doesn't come by itself. As we release what wants to be grieved we make room for more joy. I lean into whatever needs to be released and grieved in this house, and in me so that I can make room for the abundance  and ease that is trying to make its way to me.



In loving memory for all that has been and expected joy for what is to come.,


Quanita

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