Wisdom of the Circle: A Practice of Being in Relationship

Welcome to our Guest Writers: Cathleen Antoine-Abiala and Erin Dunlevy, Co-Founders of Restorative Practice NYC

In late 2020, we went from teaching together in person several nights a week to building a new kind of relationship online. Like so many others, we were adjusting not only our work, but the way we showed up for one another.

As we moved into virtual spaces, our collaboration took on a different shape. Each day began with a few grounding questions: How does my body feel? What is my state of mind? How am I doing emotionally? And how is my spirit?

During that time of uncertainty and social unrest, we found that meaningful collaboration required us to attend to these parts of the self first. Individually, then with each other, and finally with the groups we were working with. It was no longer possible to move through our work on autopilot. When we or others tried to continue with business as usual, it often led to quiet suffering or unspoken harm.

This orientation toward the whole self did not begin in 2020. In 2017, we co-created the course Restorative Justice and Racial Justice for New York University, an immersive three-day experience that consistently brought together educators and practitioners in deep reflection. At the center of that work was a guiding question: what does restorative justice offer us when it comes to healing across lines of difference?

We have spent much of our professional and personal lives sitting with that question. Over time, we came to understand restorative circles as a practice that works against separation and isolation. These values became the foundation of our work at Restorative Practice NYC and sustained us as our lives and the world around us shifted.

The idea for the Wisdom of the Circle deck grew during the pandemic. Not as a single moment, but slowly, through conversation and reflection. Restorative practice has always been something we live with, not just facilitate. Over the years, we returned to certain questions that opened something meaningful. Eventually, we realized we had been gathering something without naming it.

We were also thinking about accessibility. Facilitating circle can feel intimidating, especially for those new to the work. We wanted to create a tool people could reach for when they were not sure how to begin. At the same time, we saw that these questions could extend beyond formal circles, supporting one-on-one conversations, personal reflection, and spaces where people are building trust.

Developing the deck required care and precision. We worked to craft questions that could travel across contexts while still inviting depth. Bringing the deck into physical form introduced new challenges, from production to refining the guidebook and working with collaborators.

When we launched the deck in 2024, we did not know how it would be received. What followed has been deeply affirming. We have seen people use it in classrooms, community spaces, and personal reflection. We have seen it shared and gifted within circles. That response reminds us that restorative work moves through relationships.

Lineage is an important part of this story. This work is not something we created alone. It is something we inherited, shaped through experience, and now offer forward. Co-creating the Wisdom of the Circle deck is one way we participate in that ongoing exchange.

We hope this deck finds its way into your circles, your conversations, and your moments of reflection, wherever you are practicing the work of being in relationship.

Restorative Practice NYC (RPNYC) partners with schools, organizations, and communities to build trust, strengthen relationships, and navigate conflict through restorative practices.

We here at Nzuzu are so excited for this new partnership. You well soon see them featured in our Podcast, Wisdom Work & they are also going to be hosting two Circle Workshops, one in August and one in October. You can find information here https://www.nzuzu.com/retreats You can find more information on Restorative Practices on their website https://www.restorativepracticenyc.com